Posts Tagged ‘Paris’

Continued from love letdown

The next day I woke up and grabbed my towel, shampoo, and conditioner, as always to go take a shower before my photography class started. Only, I realized that there was a trail of rose pedals leading to my door, down the hallway, and to the floor’s landing. There was “Big” who had fallen asleep waiting for me to wake up. On his lap were a bouquet of roses and a card. Apparently, “Big” had things he wanted to say to me. He just couldn’t tell me verbally. I pulled out the card, trying not to wake him up. It read something like this:

Dear Zoe,
I’m sorry I’ve been a jackass. I just don’t like people using me. I know that my life is a bit different from others, but I can’t take it when people are using me to get fame. You know? Anyways, “Miranda” explained everything to me last night. We have some talking to do. I just couldn’t say this. I wanted to make sure I could say everything without forgetting a single detail. So, here are a dozen roses. I hope you forgive me, Zo. Because I love you. I do.

My heart dropped! Was my childhood fantasy just fulfilled? Was I Belle? I realize now looking back on it this was a very Beauty and the Beast situation: my beast turned into my prince again as soon as the last pedal fell. Literally. I played Prince Charming here when I kissed him to wake him up. He was startled and moved away. I told him I loved him, too. We smiled and kissed some more. It turns out, “Miranda” had gone down after I had cried my eyes out to give “Big” a piece of her mind. She is always the opinionated type. There had been wrong information given by Carlie, my ex-friend starting at that point. “Big’s” mom was a famous actress, who I will not reveal. But he thought I knew and was just using him to get to the fame, or so Carlie told him. When I asked him what he thought about the movie she was in, he thought I was assuring the fact that I knew. So he backed off. It was all just a “Big” misunderstanding (I had to throw that in there to channel some Carrie Bradshaw).

I still talk to “Big” every now and then. He lives in L.A. which makes it difficult. But whenever he’s in New York, I make him buy me a cosmopolitan. I chose to write about this on my blog because it was my first love. Also, I’ve been hearing from him a little lately, so cherished memories came back alive. But who knows? Maybe you/ I will be hearing more about my “Mr. Big” soon. J’espère!! (For all of you non-frenchies that means I hope!!)



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Love Letdown

Continued from the mille-feuille

The next day was a no-class day. After finding the perfect outfit to wear, doing my makeup and my hair, and grabbing “Miranda” out of her room, I went down to the commons where everyone met up. I came down to see a girl I saw around on “Big’s” lap. They were being a little cuddly. As soon as I walked in the room, everyone got kind of quiet. It just made things even more awkward. When I went over to say hi, he responded dismissively. Not in the mood for drama, I just turned around and walked over to the couch where I sat down and talked to people. We talked for a little while, the entire time I was trying not to stare at my very flirtatious guy with this random slut. He announced the two were going to go out to lunch and left hand in hand. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe how my perfect summer romance, the guy who I thought was my first love, left me so randomly! I just sat there quietly as his friends said goodbye. As soon as he left, everyone was explaining how confused they were too…everyone except Carlie. The group of us decided to go to a café for lunch. On the walk over, I ran to catch up with Carlie. The person she was talking to lingered so it was just her and me. The perfect opportunity for me to get something out of her. When I explained how I felt, she was just kind of awkwardly nodding. I asked her what was wrong and she told me it wasn’t her business but I should probably talk to “Big”. Oh great. Now I know there was officially drama.

Later that night, “Big” was no where to be seen. I didn’t want to seem to clingy so I didn’t call him. OK, that’s a lie. I called him like twice. Neither of which he answered. So, I let it go. But not for long. I was sitting in the hallway of my floor with my friends which was directly above his floor. I saw him walk up to his friends, but then the rest I couldn’t see. I quickly ran to my room to see how I looked. Then I went downstairs to set everything straight. As soon as he saw me, he knew what I had to say. He told me to come to his room so we could talk.

I covered all of these points when confronting him:

  • Who the hell is that slut? What haven’t you called me back? What did you do tonight?
  • What did I do to change your mind?
  • Why are you having such an attitude about this?
  • You need to just tell me the truth because I have no idea what the hell is going on.

There were probably more things. Remember, this was a few years ago when I was 16. But anyways, we ended up doing a mini-yelling thing. I mean, it seemed a little intense for a little summer romance. But I was hurt. And to think that I was falling for him! He was being so secretive. What was he hiding!?

It ended up with some slamming doors and things I said I wish I could’ve taken back. I remember, though, as soon as I closed the door in his face, i leaned against it. Thinking, should I go back in there? I have to. It can’t end like this. I didn’t go back.

Later that night I got to thinking about love. So many people live by love: Happiness brings love, and love brings happiness. Even in one of my favorite movies of all time, Beauty and the Beast, this shown. The beast will be turned back into a prince one he finds happiness: he has to fall in love and someone has to love him back. This love will bring the happiness of being human back to him. But, as the narrator says, “For who could ever learn to love a beast?” I couldn’t help but wonder: Was love a fantasy? Were the stories we heard growing up never found in the real world? But most importantly, how do you know when you’ve found true love? We can’t all know by turning from beast to human. So: when will we find love?

To be continued…

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Continuing my High School experience in Paris from Part of the In-Crowd

I had been hanging out with “Miranda” a lot in Paris. She was in my photography class but she was an architecture minor (perfect for her future career of interior design). But anyways, she was always off with her architecture friends going on homework assignments to museums and things like that. So I had to fend for myself, branch out, and make some friends. Something I’ve never been so thrilled about, but I always seem to manage some way or another.

I was sitting in my cuisine class with my friend Carlie. I’ll use her real name, because I will never use her name again on this blog…we haven’t talked since. I was taking notes about the art form of the “Mille-feuille” when I got a little piece of folded, white paper my name written on it:

Hey, you wanna grab lunch after class together?

Remember, this girl from New York who wasn’t really popular actually caught a guy’s attention. I didn’t want him to know all of this about me though. So I looked at him, nodded, and smiled. He looked satisfied.

So we went to a little café around the corner from the school. We were talking and laughing a lot, watching people on the busy Paris streets. We had lunch with each other many more times for the rest of that week. Each day, knowing more and more about him. He did something every day to surprise me: he held my hand, brought me a rose, etc. It was so romantic. I thought: How can this guy like me? I’m so lucky! He’s so cute and so sweet and funny! It’s like a fairytale! We went out to dinner with a big group of people, and ended up going to a bar afterwards. He bought be a drink, and we sat down with the rest of our friends. Like a lot of guys, he was so different when it was the two of us and when he was around his other guy friends. He tried to be all impressive and such, which was difficult when all I wanted to do was talk more with the “Big” I knew. Every time I tried talking to him about his life back home, his family, his friends, he just tuned me out. Why couldn’t he just answer the simple questions? I didn’t want to pry, but maybe there was something more to his life than just being a simple, cute guy. Some topic our table was talking about led me to ask him what he thought of a specific movie that was in theaters. I’ve never been given such an awkward look in my life. Then I pretended I asked the person sitting next to him, and he completely cooled down. I couldn’t understand why a simple question like “What did you think of that movie?” would bother him so much.

That night, he walked me to my room. He kissed me goodnight (did I mention that on our second date when he kissed me it was my first kiss? I don’t think I did. But anyways, age 16. First kiss…yeah.) Band I rushed to “Miranda’s” room to ask for her advice on the evening.

Maybe men are like “mille-feuilles”. They have a thousand layers, every one an amazing surprise, yet each hidden by another. We just have to somehow figure out how to discover all that they’re hiding. They’re like puzzles. Some people find a man whos every layer surprises them, intruiges them. They love figuring it all out. Those thousand layers can take a lifetime to reveal, but when you have the patience to go through multiple layers of the past, I think that that is when you have found true love. When I was 16, I couldn’t help but wonder: why wouldn’t “Big” let me in? Was it the fact that he had something from his past shut the outside world from interfering? Or, was I just not the girl in his life to trek through his mille feuilles?

To be continued…

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Hey, everyone! Sorry I haven’t been keeping you all up to date! Work and my life have been really hectic recently. I’m in France, though, so it makes it all better! I can’t even begin to tell you how much weight I am gaining! All of the cheese, chocolate, NUTELLA, breads, ugh! C’est magnifique! Every morning, I tell myself to remember throughout the day to brace myself. By the end of the day, I know there’s always tomorrow. Hopefully one of these days I will learn some self-control.

By the way, I know I posted this before, but I’m so happy about President Obama. It feels like such an honor to be alive during such a historic time and being able to call Barack the president. One of my high school friends contacted me and we were just fawning over it. I don’t know a single supporter of Obama that when watching the inaugeration, didn’t have tears in their eyes.

Some of you have taken the poll a few posts ago asking me to talk more about my high school experiences. So I thought, I’m in France so why not talk about my first experience there! It’s not exactly about my high school experience, seeing as it wasn’t exactly school. But, it was the summer going into junior year that I had my first romance, whiskey and coke, trip to France, and bite of nutella. All of which would change my life forever.

I should start this out by saying that in school, I wasn’t exactly in the “in-crowd”. There was one group of about 10 girls always buying designer clothes, not caring about grades, and having amazing social lives. Then there was where I fit in. A group of about 5 girls who loved each other equally. We were each others best friends, but we were also friendly with the rest of the grade. I don’t know if this is making sense. The most important part of this fact is that you understand that going to an all-girls school and not having the best social life, my experience in France was dynamic.

I did a summer program in Paris. I went with “Miranda” the year we went into our junior year of high school. The drinking, the smoking, the partying, the friends, the history, the Seine, the shopping, the independence, the no school aspect! It was all a dream come true! I took Photography as my major and Cuisine as my minor. “Big”, a guy from L.A. was in my Cuisine major. I remember sitting down at my desk, looking up, and seeing his face. I was shocked that people that good looking were in my cooking class. But I guess I was staring. I looked up at me, caught my gaze, and gave me the “guy nod” and a half smile. I remember the second thing he did that caught my attention. We were going around the room talking about why we decided to take the class, my reason being that my mom loved to cook so I wanted to share her passion. When it came to him, he said basically he just loved to eat, and this class seemed like a good excuse to eat french food and pasteries. This got the whole class laughing. I looked at him, he was staring at me, making sure I heard his joke.

It was the start of something new.

To be continued…

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