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Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Love Letdown

Continued from the mille-feuille

The next day was a no-class day. After finding the perfect outfit to wear, doing my makeup and my hair, and grabbing “Miranda” out of her room, I went down to the commons where everyone met up. I came down to see a girl I saw around on “Big’s” lap. They were being a little cuddly. As soon as I walked in the room, everyone got kind of quiet. It just made things even more awkward. When I went over to say hi, he responded dismissively. Not in the mood for drama, I just turned around and walked over to the couch where I sat down and talked to people. We talked for a little while, the entire time I was trying not to stare at my very flirtatious guy with this random slut. He announced the two were going to go out to lunch and left hand in hand. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe how my perfect summer romance, the guy who I thought was my first love, left me so randomly! I just sat there quietly as his friends said goodbye. As soon as he left, everyone was explaining how confused they were too…everyone except Carlie. The group of us decided to go to a café for lunch. On the walk over, I ran to catch up with Carlie. The person she was talking to lingered so it was just her and me. The perfect opportunity for me to get something out of her. When I explained how I felt, she was just kind of awkwardly nodding. I asked her what was wrong and she told me it wasn’t her business but I should probably talk to “Big”. Oh great. Now I know there was officially drama.

Later that night, “Big” was no where to be seen. I didn’t want to seem to clingy so I didn’t call him. OK, that’s a lie. I called him like twice. Neither of which he answered. So, I let it go. But not for long. I was sitting in the hallway of my floor with my friends which was directly above his floor. I saw him walk up to his friends, but then the rest I couldn’t see. I quickly ran to my room to see how I looked. Then I went downstairs to set everything straight. As soon as he saw me, he knew what I had to say. He told me to come to his room so we could talk.

I covered all of these points when confronting him:

  • Who the hell is that slut? What haven’t you called me back? What did you do tonight?
  • What did I do to change your mind?
  • Why are you having such an attitude about this?
  • You need to just tell me the truth because I have no idea what the hell is going on.

There were probably more things. Remember, this was a few years ago when I was 16. But anyways, we ended up doing a mini-yelling thing. I mean, it seemed a little intense for a little summer romance. But I was hurt. And to think that I was falling for him! He was being so secretive. What was he hiding!?

It ended up with some slamming doors and things I said I wish I could’ve taken back. I remember, though, as soon as I closed the door in his face, i leaned against it. Thinking, should I go back in there? I have to. It can’t end like this. I didn’t go back.

Later that night I got to thinking about love. So many people live by love: Happiness brings love, and love brings happiness. Even in one of my favorite movies of all time, Beauty and the Beast, this shown. The beast will be turned back into a prince one he finds happiness: he has to fall in love and someone has to love him back. This love will bring the happiness of being human back to him. But, as the narrator says, “For who could ever learn to love a beast?” I couldn’t help but wonder: Was love a fantasy? Were the stories we heard growing up never found in the real world? But most importantly, how do you know when you’ve found true love? We can’t all know by turning from beast to human. So: when will we find love?

To be continued…

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This is for all of those frustrated moments I have. I have moments like this a lot, but its just good to relax and count your blessings. This is from one of my favorite movies, 10 Things I Hate About You staring Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles.I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots,

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick;

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right.

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,

and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

 

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